To my First Step-dad

I haven't seen or heard from him since my mom and him got divorced. I had a dream about meeting him last night and I have to right about him because my feelings are so mixed right now.

I wonder what you're doing now.
I don't think you care what I'm doing.
I graduated from college with a degree in Psychology and a GPA of 3.18 no thanks to you.

I am thankful for your service to our country and that will never change.
If you can be so bold as to fight for our country why can't you talk to me?

Do you remember building a snowman in our backyard?
Do you remember Chaser?
Or Dave?

Well I remember all of it much to your surprise I'm sure.
I remember you used to wear softball shorts all the time.
I remember you used to play softball.
You took us to an air show at Pope AFB.
Dave used to pack parachutes.
You couldn't tell us what you did.

You went to South Korea for two years and during that time my mom cheated on you.
I am sorry that she cheated on you especially while you were serving our country.
You can't blame me for what she did.

I am happily married now.
Sister graduates with a degree in Biology in December.
Philip goes to the same college I went to.
I bet you didn't even know we're old enough to be in college.

You made a positive impact on my life while you were in it.
You've tortured me since you've been gone.
I hope you're happy.
I also hope to talk to you again, if you are willing.
I don't think you are.

I never got a chance to say goodbye.
So here it is:
Goodbye!
Not that you care.

hrmph...

Yesterday

So when I first started this my goal was to post one a day. Well, yesterday was basically a nightmare so I didn't post anything :( So, let me tell you about it!

I started off in the morning with my hubby having to leave at 4! We didn't have any dishes clean because our dishwasher only cleans about 75% of the dishes but that's a whole nother complaint. So, I had to handwash his breakfast dishes. I had a slight headache then but I just figured that maybe if I went back to bed it would go away (tell me, what kind of logic was that?!)

I woke up and my head was killing me!! I get migraines often but they are usually not this bad. I took some BC Powder hoping that it would help and layed back down. I was feeling nauseas (I don't know how to spell that word haha) so I didn't eat anything with the medicine. I know that it usually makes you nauseas anyway when you don't eat so, I should've eaten something any way (again my logic was not functioning). I called my employer to tell her I was not coming in then I sat up on my computer to e-mail my employer at school. As soon as I sat up, it happened. I barely made it to the toilet. That's right, I puked. It wasn't your average everyday puke either it was strong and hard and painful. I started to dry heave once nothing was left and that didn't stop until I made myself pull away from the toilet. I then layed down with my teddy bear (yes i have a teddy bear at 22 haha but at least it was my husband who gave it to me) and went back to sleep.

Because I didn't know how much medicine was actually absorbed into my system, I had to wait until the medicine was supposed to wear off to take more. I layed in bed and suffered with a migraine until I could take some Excedrin with food haha! My wonderful husband came home during that time and thought it would be a great idea to make me some peanut butter cookies. Good in theory, bad in pracitice. He cut on the flourescent light in the kitchen that shined into my eyes, used the mixer, and in between batches he'd come lay down with me and flip through the tv channels. I love to snuggle when I don't feel well and when I have a migraine that won't go away I want to sleep because it doesn't hurt when you sleep. So, my hubby's escapade of trying to be sweet was not so sweet but the cookies were still good :) and I was able to keep those down so I could take some Excedrin and start feeling better :)

After he made the cookies he layed down with me and I was able to fall he asleep. He woke me up when it was time for me to take more drugs and then I started feeling better. I was supossed to get a lot done yesterday but I basically spent it watching TV. That's live sometimes I guess :/

My Sister

My sister is 11 months younger than me. We are so close. We have always been practically attached at the hip. When we went to college, she decided to go to a different college than me that was further away from me. It was devastating. We talk to each other on the phone at least 3 times a week but it's not the same as living close. I do miss her. I hope one day we'll be closer to each other but, at the same time, we're both too stubborn and independent to sacrifice where we want to live for the other person haha. God knows what he's doing and I know it will work out the way He wants it to.
She's dating this guy. He seems to be a nice guy but he has an unhealthy relationship with this friend of his who is a girl. He's massaged her legs as a fried! I don't think so! Also, her mom has a creepy attachment to him. So, I think if he wants this relationship with my sister to go any further then he needs to detach himself from those two trouble makers.
Sister (I've been calling her sister since we could talk and I didn't realize it was weird until middle school and it was her name by then so I still call her that) is biology major and is graduating in August from Gardner-Webb University. She loves to run and is good at it! She is very independent and I admire that and am sometimes jealous of that. She also has unhealthy attachment to guy friends. I don't know why, I'm sure it has something to do with childhood and I wish she would stop. Also, sometimes when she's around my mom or my brother, Philip, she acts like she's twelve again. She also handles how she treats Timmy, my step-bro, very immaturely sometimes. She loves music and plays piano and bass clarinet. We were both in band in high and middle school.

My Husband

he grew up in knoxville, tn. his family are amazing Christians. I love them all, sometimes I like them more than my family haha. He currently works and Target and is the primary bread winner in our house. He takes care of me and loves me so much. He spoils me rotten! He pretty much gives me anything I want and I'm afraid he's turning me into a spoiled brat but it's okay :) He's currently sick with a bad chest cold. I hate it when he's sick cuz he's so grumpy lol. but he's not been too bad this go around so we'll see. He currently goes to Liberty, same as me. He's majoring in Biblical Studies. He doesn't know what he wants to do with the rest of his life but that's ok with me cuz I know God has something wonderful planned :) so, that's all i have for now. happy blogging!

Introduction

hi. this is me. the pic is of my hubby and i on our wedding day. i just starting blogging basically because i like to write and i'm tired of handwriting everything. i'm 22, married, a super senior in college (about to graduate! hallelujah!) so far in the house it's just me and my hubby and 5 fish lol. i am a Christian and love the Lord with all of my heart. although i am a Christian, i am also a sinner. so, if i say things that are offensive to you or to God, i am human. Becoming a Christian does not make you perfect. I am kinda hoping that through this blog people can see that Christians are real people and being a Christian doesn't suck.

my family life was not all that grand when i was growing up but my God loves me and has brought through many things in my life. maybe i'll write more about that later. so, anyway, this is me :)